You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
