im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Drunk is a universal language darling
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
