Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize