im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
