His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
