your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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