There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
