I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
