Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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