I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
