I think im going to throw up on grandma
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
