i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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