Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Four minutes until I can fart!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
