I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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