have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
