He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
