why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
