A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
