you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
