I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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