The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
