I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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