i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize