i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
