I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
