after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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