absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
