That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
