woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Enjoy the penises
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
