Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
