Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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