Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
