doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The air taste purple.
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