We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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