so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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