haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
