I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
