And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
