drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
