So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The Olympian is in my bed
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
