from now on my penis is your penis
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
