ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
