he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
