Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
