I am in a vortex of obligation.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
