I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
