that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
