Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
