I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
