Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
