dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize