Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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