Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
