Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
