is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
