What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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