birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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