thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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