I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
