goodnight i made you a song goodbye
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
