I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
