I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
